Women

In my younger years I could usually get the last word on any subject, except with women that is. It was a blessing when I learned that even if I won I’d really lost. That was a hard one to learn and accept with grace and good humor. But I did learn to hand them a glass of wine and apologize for being wrong, it saved a lot of time. Sting was famous for saying that he and his wife had Tantric sex for eight hours. Then when he got a little older he admitted that six hours was spent begging..., I like that one. But life goes better when you learn that whatever you did was wrong and get the apology over. Even if you don’t mean it! I’m being frivolous of course but really it’s easier and life is too short already.

Once I was traveling with my girlfriend and she had come down with a really bad cold and wouldn’t take anything for it. We finally arrived at the town were we going and to the theater. We’d barely managed to avoid a huge argument on the way down and I had decided that the best course of action was to ignore her mood and carry on. I introduced her to my friend who’s play it was and she just basically stood there and said little. I told my friend about her cold and told him his wasn’t really feeling her best and he understood. Later at the hotel when we were getting ready for bed I told my girlfriend that I though it was much better to cut our mini-vacation short as she wasn’t feeling well. That I felt bad for her because I knew she was miserable and couldn’t enjoy herself. Leaving out the part where she was making me feel miserable too. She decided to take a minimum of medication instead of trying to power through and we had a nice time after all. I think the best part of any minor illness is to be able to rub Vicks on their chest. At least it make me feel better!

The point is I made my concern for her plain and as a result I got to feel better and the trip was saved because of it. This young lady didn’t like western medicine and didn’t like taking pills. So I went along with her wishes and when they weren’t working I suggested a way to resolve the problem, I work with her instead of against her. For every problem there is a way around it if your willing to look hard enough to find it. Most times you need time to work out the problems so take some time to work out the problems. But most of the problems are something you said in haste or in anger. And most things can be solved by taking the time to discuss them and the willingness to consider both side of an argument and to be willing to talk about them.

Of course I live alone and have for the last decade, I find that it the best lifestyle for me especially as I age. I can work anytime that I feel like it and just being alone can calm me and the silence is golden. I love my music when it’s appropriate but I love silence as well. I get a great peace of mind that comes over me when I’m writing or working on ideas. A great deal of my time is spent communicating with friends and colleagues. When I’m actually shooting I have to spend a lot of time talking to people, giving directions and inter-reacting with them and I need this space of mine. It’s not the best lifestyle for all but for me it seems to make the difference I need. I spend a lot of time working out different problems I have and coming up with ideas for my shoots, different story lines that might work.

Speaking of work I seem to have gotten back into the groove. I’ve contacted my clients about work and I’ve gotten some positive results. I needed to let some time pass before I could approach them about new images. I’m also trying some new thing to help supplement my income. But it’s daunting to pitch different ideas, not something I’m use to now and it does take skill to do it well. But it’s lovely to feel in control of my future again and to have a direction that seems positive at last. In every economy some little grains of compromise seem to happen and we need to nurture them and take the time to listen to that inner voice and work with them and not against them.

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From Fiesta, The King William Fair my title is "Thinking of You"