My personal economy has hit me pretty hard this year, I’ve had to put my plans on hold for now. The first of the year a good client I’d been counting on was let go to find a new job. We had been planning a series of shoots that would have carried me well into the new year. I’ve been working with her for over 5 year now and it was a great working relationship. I’ve been giving the person who replace her a chance to settle in before I contact them. Then another client gave me word that his budget has been scaled back by 15%, that was where my money was to be found. Again another 5 year relationship that had worked well gone in a heartbeat. So now I’m left scrambling and trying to make other contact’s work and I’ve had to scale back as a result.
It’s a tough life being a free-lancer, everyone seem to think that it’s great that you can work as you please. The reality is you work when you can and the other time is spent trying to get work. I had a friend come to visit and I told her I just needed a couple of minutes on the phone then we’d go for breakfast. Three hours later I was ready and she was starved.. Funny life not knowing where your next paycheck is coming from or when it will arrive. In the pasts I’ve had my share of fallow periods, feast or famine. Period of where I’ve had to move to find work and then needed the time to start over and build up contacts. But I’m too old for that now and I have setup roots.
The stroke is another determining factor I no longer have that ability to scramble like I use to. Now I think and move slower and I don’t process things and quickly as I should. Hell maybe it’s my age, I don’t know anymore but I still care as if were yesterday. I’m working with a number of friends trying new things and the tried and true things. But nothing is happening fast enough to suit me or my creditors. I know that given enough time I can pull through, I’ve got a whole history build upon that, I’m just impatient. Now there is a lot more competition and their a lot younger and not as much opportunities to go around. It’s survival of the fittest in it’s finest tradition and I have to get used to my place. But damn it’s hard when your used to being number one in the food-chain. I’m not ready yet to seed my place in the line but I may not have the choice any longer.
So gone is my small buffer for future work for the time being. I have to concentrate on the immediate future instead of investing in a longer range plans for now. I’ve taken the last year to sort of retool my thinking and my skills to make a better match for the new demands. Change is hard, it never was easy but we all have to confront it head on or be pushed aside. I keep thinking of all those nature show of wolf packs. Snow flying everywhere trying to catch their prey and the older wolf falling behind and not being able to catch-up. Wolves don’t have a very good retirement plan only sharp teeth..., and the teeth that get there first are the only one’s that eat.
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My friend Esperanza, she came down for a quick shoot by the glass wall and had such a good time she called in sick and spent the afternoon.
2 comments:
I'm glad at least you had a good shoot. And I am sorry to hear about your troubles. As everyone has been telling me, you are not alone, if that's any consolation.
We have similar problems over here too. The software industry is in freefall at the moment. As you say, it's very tough out there, and very difficult to find work with your clients going bust every day.
I have no idea what is going to happen to us financially, either. Things change on a daily basis. All I can recommend is to take one day at a time, and try not to worry about the future. Not much help, I know, but it's the only way to stop yourself going crackers.
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