I was thinking the other day about the wondrous creatures I’ve know over the course of my life. From the neighborhood little girls I played with to my first love in grade school, to the teacher I was head over heels with; big or tall I’ve loved them all. When I was beginning my photographic career I combine it with my love of women and my respect for them. Never one to just look for beauty I found the most interesting who’s personality had a special shine. If they happened to be beautiful too I consider it a bonus and a nice exterior I was doubly blessed . After all even beautiful girl need love too and who better than me.
As I matured I found I was welcomed to the world of women and found myself being able to learn from them. That didn’t prepare me to deal with them any better that the next man but it at least gave me a chance to try to understand them better. The women in my life have taught me a lot about themselves and about the ways they see the world. They’re complicated and maddening, we desire them and hate them, sometimes in equal measure. But above these things we love and covet them and we truly care for them in all there complexities. Remember back to the last argument you got into with the one you love and you’ll know what I mean.
I once got into a disagreement with one I loved (well, more than once) over something I can’t remember and she turned and walked away. Just shut me out, I was so infuriated that I too just turned and walked away in anger and confusion. I spent the afternoon at a friends house that I had the keys for. Later that night she called and apologize and she said she didn’t know why she’d reacted that way. It was only when she saw me walking away in anger that it dawned on her. Mind you I should have gone after her and that didn’t absolved me for that but she understood why I had reacted to her that way. She was so calm about things and forgave me, I was confused and put off guard I didn’t know how to react. That I think is a part of their defense, do the unexpected and keep you off balance. Effective strategy and one I learned to adapt for my own uses.
She was my first relationship as a mature male and it was a great learning experience for the both of us. We went on trips together and were together most night but we had our own separate places for those nights we wanted some peace and quiet. She was a lot younger than me and needed time and space to experience life and to grow into the woman she was meant to become. I was all too happy to share lives together and apart, we both separated for a year and went our own ways but still we kept in touch. Then we both came back to the town we lived and were together again, for a few years we even had a exclusive relationship. Time is said heals old wounds and I guess that’s true to some extent. But we both got itchy feet and I came back to Texas and though we saw each other from time to time it wasn’t mean to be. We both got caught up in our lives and our dreams so we went our separate lives. Pity, I sometimes wonder if I had stayed what kind of life would I have now. Surely much different but better..., I don’t know.
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The ever lovely Vada
2 comments:
What a beautiful tribute to your past loves!
I think it's inevitable that sometimes we wonder what would happen if we'd taken a different path. However I do believe that we are the sum of our experiences, both good and bad, and ultimately I wouldn't change a thing. We are precisely where we're meant to be in life, because of those past choices we made. No one path is any better than another - different, perhaps, but we all end up at the same destination in the end.
What a nice post. It made me think about all the little boys I loved. Before I came to visit you, I just e-mailed someone about the way we view a situation based on our own experiences, and what we see may have little to do with another person sees in the same thing. I'm trying to learn to accept these differences in perception.
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